In October I turned 33 (shout out to my fellow Libras). Every year before my birthday I always take some time to reflect. To think about where I want to be heading personally and professionally in the next year or so.
But this year I’m feeling a little bit different, I’m still currently in reflection mode, but instead of looking ahead, I’m looking back.
Some people say it’s not a good idea to look back, as it can be detrimental to your wellbeing. But I disagree if you are looking towards the next goal you want to achieve or the next thing to tick off, you can sometimes miss seeing how far you have come.
I feel that since I have been in my 30’s my mindset has shifted, I feel differently about myself and differently about the world and people around me. I think now first the first time I’m really starting to become comfortable in my own skin and who I am as a person. And that’s a really nice place to be in. Trust me it has taken a long time for me to get to this point.
Don’t get me wrong I still have the occasional feeling of self-doubt (I am still human) but the self-doubt has been silenced compared to what it was like in my 20’s.
In this post, I want to share with you what turning 33 means to me and some of the things that have changed now that I am in my 30’s.
Confidence is a funny one, what does it really mean to be and have confidence? When I was in my teens and early 20’s I really lacked it.
There were many times that I doubted and second-guessed myself . My body confidence was non-existent. I am really tall and I hated my long legs (which funnily enough is one of the features many people have complimented me on in the past!) I was quite shy and didn’t really want to share things like my feelings or speak up for myself!
But now I’m older I feel that I have come into my own, I wish I could explain how, but I can’t really put my finger on it. It really is a mindset, every year I age, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, I know who I am and I’m happy with that. I don’t feel the need to prove myself to people or have the need to be liked by everyone, I know I’m a good person and if other people don’t see that, then it’s their loss, not mine.
I’m also fairly happy with my appearance, of course I have bad days where I feel a bit meh and nothing seems to look good on me, But most of the time I feel good about my body and how I look. Everyone has at least one or two body hangups. Features they like and ones they don’t that’s normal. Mine at the minute is my growing amount of fine lines that seem to be appearing on my face! Although they are fairly new and I’m sure in a few years I will embrace them as I do with the scar on my chin and dent in my leg. Stories for another time, but great stories none the less.
I have learned that no one wakes up perfect like the models you see all over Instagram. And what I see as imperfections some other people may see them as a great feature. I’ve learned to accept myself for me and all my imperfections are what makes me, me and it really feels great.
By the time you arrive in your 30’s, you would have experienced a few failures. Maybe the job you took at 25 didn’t turn into your dream job? or that relationship you were in didn’t work out? But you know what? It’s OK! Because it has happened to us all at one time or another.
Failures of any type are a good thing. They help you learn and in the long run they can help you succeed. Life is one big learning curve and we aren’t going to get everything right first time are we? I have a few failures under my belt now. I been made redundant a few times, and at the time it was horrible, but each time it has opened the door for new opportunities that might not have been there if that didn’t happen to me.
Through work I have learnt how see a failure as a postive. When I feel I have failed at a certain project or something didn’t quite go to plan, instead of getting upset or cross with myself, I think of how I can improve the next time I do something similar.
I also remember the pit falls from the previous time and know to go about it in a different way, so I succeed the next time. Little adjustments can make a huge difference.
I have also had my fair share of heartbreak, I had past relationships not work out. There may have been times when I was selfish or stubborn or untrusting, or just not the right person for someone. You learn as you go what you did wrong and learn and grow from it. You learn the type of person you will suit and what type of person will suit you.
I feel many of my friendships have massively changed over the last 5 years. In my early 20’s I had a loads of friends. Some I would only see when I went ‘out out’. Many of these friends have now fizzled out. You grow up and move on. The friends I have now have been in my life for years. Many I have known from a young age. Some I have known from play school, some I know from school and some I have worked with.
Many of my friends have now become parents. Which means I tend to see less of them than I used to. But what is very different is the quality of time that I spend with them. I may go for longer periods without seeing them now, but when I do get to see them we really talk, not small talk, but real talk.
We talk about our fears our triumphs and everything in-between. I’m really lucky that I’m surrounded by some great friends, they really do enrich my life. I’m a lot closer to them now as we all have conversations about careers, families, relationships and mental wellbeing.
It’s been really lovely speaking to each of them on a deeper level, as it is nice to share what we are really going through from struggles and worries to funny stories. I feel that all of them are a massive support system for me.
We talk about about careers, families, relationships and mental wellbeing. I’m really lucky that I’m surrounded by a great group of women, they are a massive support network. Now we really talk, It’s made me feel closer to them than I ever have before.
That’s the power of female friendships, we are always there for each other to pick one another up if we fall, and to cheer each other on from the sidelines when things are going well. I appreciate all my female friendships and feel so lucky to have all these amazing women in my life.
This is a small insight into what turning 33 means to me. I could go on and I may do a follow up post, as I feel I’ve only scratched the surface on this topic. I hope you enjoyed this post. If there is one thing you take away from reading this, let it be this, with each passing year, we grow a little bit wiser and a little bit stronger!
I’d love to know your thoughts, so leave a comment in the box below.
See you on the next one.